Emotional
by Indicate
Summary: Nudge is the underdog of the flock, talented but underestimated. In this one shot she breaks free and shows the emotion that she's been hiding.


For some people, having wings is like a blessing. Some people would kill to be able to fly, to soar the skies at will; to break free. But for me, it's never like that.

My wings are the things that hold me down. Ever since Fang started that stupid blog of his, people have recognized me everywhere I go; I can never escape.

Not even the skies are safe. Ever since we were discovered there was a surge in small planes, and now almost every part of the vast blue is smattered with the ugly air polluting beasts.

But I haven't told this to anybody, not even the Flock, the ones I am closest to in the world. Why? Because it would ruin their reputation of me, Nudge, the eternal optimist.

They don't seem to understand that saving the world is a big responsibility for anyone of any age, not least a twelve year old girl. But how could I even make them understand? They would think I was moaning, they'd tell me to leave. A single tear falls from my cheek and drops down onto the dusty ground.

An awful fight with Max had found me out here, alone in this wasteland. In honesty I had no idea where I was. My rage had kept me flying, but now I am alone, with only my thoughts to keep me company. My throat is dry and raspy, but I refuse to go back. There is one thing I like about being out here; I can finally let myself go.

Out here, I don't have to keep my feelings bottled up inside of me; waiting for an explosion when somebody pushes me over the limit. Out here, I can imagine what if things had been differently.

What if I had stayed with my human mother, the one who I had caught a glimpse of such a long time ago? Would I have lived a normal life, been popular? I might have even gone to a school prom, or kissed a boy under an apple tree.

Another tear rolls down my cheek and mingles with the sweat that has already appeared, despite my short time in this place. I rake my hands through my chocolate brown hair and sigh, but it is soon mingled with a choking sound and an army of tears escape my eyes.

"Why me? Why couldn't I have been normal?" I give a silent scream as rage joins my self-pity. "I don't deserve this! I've never done anything wrong!" This time the scream is not silent, and an awful blood curdling noise releases itself from inside of me.

With a hiccup, and a hell load more tears, I find myself on the floor again, my head in my hands. I rub my face with my calloused hands and let my wings break free.

They are so large that the tips of them curl themselves around my sides; the tawny feathers almost gleam in the sun.

There are so many humans out there who would kill for wings like these, but part of me just wants them out. They are the things that brought all of this drama, after all. My vision turns red.

I reach out and grab a handful of feathers from my right wing, and tear them from the wing, screaming out in another cocktail of emotions; agony and anger. I let the feathers float to the ground, my breathing deep and raspy.

I remember the time, not so long ago, when I had considered having my wings amputated. Max was the one who had talked me out of it. Max, the leader, the one destined to save the world.

"If Maximum Ride is so damn brilliant, why do you need me?" I screech out to the desert, my heart racing. If I kept this up, I wouldn't last much longer. But then again, what would it matter? Heaven couldn't be so bad.

I tear out another clump of feathers, and another, until the part of my right wing that I can reach is almost bare. The feathers lie on the ground, no breeze to pick them up and take them somewhere better.

Just as I throw myself onto the ground, wishing it would all end, a voice in my head speaks up. '_This is so unlike you Monique_,' I cringe as it mentions my real name. '_Just pick yourself up and carry on_,'

This voice in my head is nothing like Max's or even Angel's. It doesn't command me, and I can escape it when I want to. It's like my conscience.

And for once, I listen to it. I get up on shaky legs, the sun blazing down on my face and the agony in my wing only just starting to kick in. I scoop the feathers up and examine them in my cupped hands.

These feathers shouldn't be on my wing, they belong to some kind of bird. They have been with me on all of my escapades with the Flock, through thick and thin, and even though I know they're just stupid little inanimate objects, I feel pain for them in my confused and almost delirious state.

I stand like this for a while, just gazing down at the feathers, words swirling in my head. Most of my anger has ebbed away.

It takes me a while to look up and consider moving on, but I'm prompted by a drop of rain falling onto my nose. What was just one drop of rain, is joined by others and soon I'm standing in a full on downpour.

The rain seems to cleanse my soul and head, and replaces the negative thoughts with slightly more optimistic ones.

"If I was just a human, I would have never met the Flock." I say aloud, "If I was just a human, I would be stuck on the ground." I shudder at being stuck on the ground, and realise that I love flying, and the Flock, too much to give them up, just for a normal life.

Then the happy memories start flooding into my head, washing away the bad ones, and I feel so much better, it's amazing. The happiness rushes to my head, and I prance around in the rain, letting go of the feathers and watching them be transported by the wind. Not even a crowd of Erasers could ruin my mood.

Because I am Nudge, and when I'm happy, you can't get me down.

A/N: Wrote this little one shot because I realised I hadn't written one about the amazing Maximum Ride series yet! Hope you liked it, and I'd love a review or two- it'd make me write more MR stories!


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